How To Look After Yourself While In A Relationship 

Relationships take equal effort, commitment, and time for both parties. It’s a continuous work of building trust, growing love, and complementing each other to be better versions of themselves. However, along the way, sometimes a person can lose sight of how it’s equally important to look after themselves separately.  

Having said that, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. Tending and maintaining a relationship can be exhausting and affect your well-being. It’s never selfish to consider your needs and wants, even in a relationship. After all, you can only love others when you learn to love yourself more.   

You can start looking after yourself while in a relationship by applying these pieces of advice below:  

  • Avoid Being Clingy And Dependent  

It is ultimately up to you to be happy. It would be best if you didn’t depend on someone to keep yourself cheerful, in a good mood, or to enjoy life. According to an article from, being overly dependent can cause a general anxiety disorder that can impact relationships. It is essential to look after your happiness and not rely on anyone to stabilize your emotions.   

  • Always Practice Me-Time  

It’s a good practice to spend time alone, as this offers the best opportunities to take a break from your relationship routine. Having personal time allows you to clear your mind, recharge, destress, and enjoy activities that you want to do by yourself. This is a special time to be comfortable in your company while pursuing things you want to do alone.   

No matter how often you meet with your partner, see that you still make time for yourself. Spend as much time as you want to do things alone. Even if you prefer company or get social with others, nothing beats the value of spending time alone.   

Relationships shouldn’t have strict rules regarding how much time you want to spend separately. The key is to manage your time well and have a well-balanced schedule for yourself, your partner, family, and friends. It’s best to express yourself to your partner if you need me-time away from them.  

Having personal space can do wonders for your emotional and mental health. Spending time separately doesn’t mean you love each other less. It only means that you both must learn to value each other’s private lives as much as you value your shared life.  

  • Learn To Say ‘No’  

One of the best practices you can apply when you’re in a healthy relationship is to say ‘no’ once in a while. No matter how much you love the other person, there are instances when you shouldn’t compromise yourself. You’ll be surprised how saying ‘no’ can positively impact your mental health. Your self-worth increases as a result. It’s a good sign that you are willing to stand up for yourself.  

As a result, you’ll be able to prioritize yourself better and even discover opportunities you might have missed if you keep saying ‘yes.’ While it makes you feel good to please and keep your partner happy. Do it within your terms. If saying ‘yes’ to them means that you’re already compromising your happiness, then it’s best to say ‘no.’ This is an excellent self-care practice, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.  

  • Spend Time With Friends  

While a relationship is still new and blooming, it’s natural for both parties to spend more time building and nurturing it. However, when it reaches a certain level of stability, it’s best to slowly go back to your old routines, like making time for others. Connect with your buddies and friends, and stay in touch with them regularly. 

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Remember that any relationship requires enough time, attention, and effort to flourish. Your friends will appreciate you giving them time despite your active love life. Also, this is a great time to just be yourself around the people you’re comfortable with. After all, you’ve known your friends way before you probably met your partner, so it’s only fair that you spend a lot of time with them too.   

  • Be Honest To Yourself  

Relationships require honesty towards each other to build trust. However, some people overlook the importance of being honest with themselves. Doing this is ideal to assess yourself and connect with your emotions towards your partner and your relationship. This will allow you to discover why you’re feeling that way. By being honest with yourself, you can make better decisions in life and relationships.    

  • Create Healthy Boundaries  

You can look out for yourself healthily if you set boundaries in your relationship. The key to having healthy boundaries is to communicate well with your partner. Likewise, couples should be able to respect each other’s boundaries. 

Say, for example, you’re in a stressful situation and want your partner to show love and support by spending quality time and listening to your worries. Your partner should understand that this is how you want to be treated. 

However, if your partner cannot do so due to a certain circumstance, you should also understand why your needs can’t be met. Otherwise, enforcing yourself would only cause you more harm than good.  

Setting limitations is a way of taking care of yourself. It’s best to do this in the beginning stages of your relationship. Negotiate expectations and learn to assess what things can be compromised for each other. Healthy boundaries allow you to be more honest about your needs, demands, and expectations. As a result, you can save a lot of arguments, cold wars, and petty fights.  

  • Establish Personal Goals  

If you check social media, you’ll find hashtags that say ‘couple goals.’ There is usually content where couples achieve their fitness or other goals together. And while these are incredibly amazing, it’s equally important to establish personal goals that differ from your partner’s.  

Some people get carried away when they’re committed to a relationship, and their personal goals take a back seat. However, if you want to continue caring for yourself, even in a relationship, you must continue achieving the things you’ve always wanted and dreamt about.

Chances are these goals were already set before your partner came into the picture. No matter how trivial your personal goals are, go for them.  

  • Pursue Your Hobbies  

Spending time alone is a great opportunity for you to pursue hobbies. Determine your interests and see if there are new hobbies or activities that you want to try. No matter what they are, don’t be afraid to experiment and try them out.   

If your hobby is already existing way before you met your partner, find time to maintain doing it. It’s best to avoid including your new partner in your hobbies or everything you do to keep respect for each other’s personal space. Doing hobbies is one of these activities that can be done separately.  

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Occasionally, it’s fine to invite your significant other along, but you should also be able to enjoy things without them. These hobbies can define who you are, and you wouldn’t want to pressure or force your partner to do something with you just because you love them.       

  • Stay Physically Fit  

Staying fit is crucial whether you’re happily single or committed to a relationship. One of the most effective ways to take care of yourself is to stay fit and healthy. Exercising can be done by yourself, with a gym buddy, or with your partner. Therefore, if you and your partner prefer to work out together and time permits, you may do so. You can hire a fitness coach to help you or establish your home workout plans

No matter how you spend your sweat-out sessions, what’s important is to include it in your weekly routine. After all, there are plenty of mental and physical benefits to exercising. Taking care of yourself first and foremost is an essential part of any healthy lifestyle, and being in a relationship shouldn’t hinder that.  

  • Look Good And Feel Good  

It’s ideal to make time for yourself regularly. This means doing what makes you feel good, such as getting a new haircut, doing your nails, or going to the spa. Pamper time is a way to care for yourself, even in a relationship. Remember that when you look good, you instantly feel good, which also impacts healthy relationships around you. Don’t forget to take care of your needs and wants. Regularly schedule a time to pamper and make yourself look good. And remember that you’re doing it for yourself and not for anyone else.  

  • Choose Your Inner Peace

As you learn more about yourself, you’ll know what matters most. This could mean avoiding toxicity in a situation, thing, or person. Say something or someone made you feel bad about yourself. Reflecting on this and realizing they shouldn’t have a place in your heart means choosing yourself and your inner peace over toxicity. Hence, creating a wall or gap between that situation or person is ideal if you feel they are toxic in your life.  

  • Do Not Let Your Partner Define Who You Are  

It implies that you no longer trust your perceptions when you let someone else define you. Instead, you rely on your partner for validation, which can be a torn in your personal growth. You can be stuck in a rut because you keep failing to get validation from your partner.  

To avoid it, it’s important never to allow anyone to define you. You are who you are, and no one else can change you. It is common for people who have trouble valuing themselves to resort to unhealthy strategies to feel loved. But you shouldn’t be in this predicament. Stay confident and embrace all your imperfections to accept who you are.    


Being in a relationship is a great blessing, and it’s natural to go above and beyond to care for the other person to maintain the relationship. However, in doing so, ensure that you don’t overly compromise or lose yourself. Hopefully, you’ll be able to apply some invaluable tips above to look after yourself even when committed to a relationship.