How to Be a Good Friend (And Signs to Avoid Being a Bad One)
Being a good friend is not always easy, but taking the time to cultivate a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many will not, and you will realize that every friendship you maintain is invaluable.
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Of course, to have a good friend you must be one too, and it requires a lot of effort and care. To be a good friend, you must establish a relationship of trust, be a support for your friend during difficult times, and deepen friendship to be lasting. If you want to know how to be a good friend, just follow these steps.
Keep your promises.
Never make a promise that you cannot keep, it also means that when you are going to promise something, do not abuse so that you can then keep it or at least do not make it a habit. If you say you’re going out with a friend and a problem arises, explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong enough for when you should say no, just like when you say yes. No one is perfect and it’s fine if you do not keep a promise from time to time, but do not make it a regular thing.
- When you make a promise in earnest, look your friend in the eyes and speak slowly to show that you are serious, instead of saying yes only because you think you should.
Be reliable :
Being reliable is one of the most important aspects when you are a good friend. Nobody likes a person who cannot be trusted. It is difficult to rely on a person who does not behave consistently and reliably. We all know well-intentioned but unreliable people who say “yes, I’ll do it …”, but they never keep their word. If you are like that, understand that you are ruining the trust that your friend has in you. Over time, you will stop believing in what you say.
- If you are not sure that you can do something, do not accept it and then repent later. Instead, be honest and say that suddenly you cannot achieve it.
- Your friends should always feel that they can count on you, even when things get difficult. If you are only for funny moments, you will not be more than a half friend.
Excuse yourself when you make a mistake.
If you want your friends to trust you, then do not act as if you were perfect. It would be nice if you gave him a small detail to apologize and do not do it again to trust you. If you know you have made a mistake, accept it instead of denying it. Although your friends will not be very happy about your mistake, they will be pleased that you are mature enough and grounded to admit it, instead of pretending that there is nothing wrong, or worse, that you blame it on someone else.
- When you apologize, you must be honest. Let your friends listen to the sincerity in your voice instead of thinking that you do not care what they may feel.
If you want to be a good friend and people trust you, then you should be honest about your feelings, about the actions of your friends, and about how you feel about friendship. If you are honest about what you feel, you will open direct lines of communication with your friends improving the relationship and avoiding uncomfortable situations in the future. If your friend hurt you, do not be afraid to say it; if something bothered you, do not feel sorry to talk about it and if it was you who made the mistake accept your mistake, this must be mutual, it is not about one endurance and the other street, it is about both accepting and recognizing their mistakes.
- Being honest is different from not being tactful, since you must be careful not to hurt your friends. If you believe that a friend of yours has a problem with alcohol, drugs, something really strong, then you have the duty to start a conversation about the issue with your friend. But if you think your friend looks strange in her new dress, you do not like how her hairstyle looks, maybe it’s better to keep your mouth shut as this is not relevant and unless she asks you, you should avoid giving an opinion or advice.
- Be real. Connect with people who value at a deep level if you want to have long-term and sustainable friendships. Invest in the people you can be close to. If you do not dedicate time to friendship, if you do not strive to make a space to share together, it can deteriorate.
Do not use people.
If one of your friends suspects that you are only using it, then it will drop you like a hot potato. Good friendships do not come up in the hope that someone else’s popularity will help you. If you are trying to have a friendship with a person only to be accepted in a social circle, then that is not friendship (it is opportunism) and over time the superficial nature of your intentions will come to the surface.
- If you have a reputation for using people, then new people you meet will not be too excited to start a friendship with you.
- A friendship is about giving and receiving. Sure, it can be very convenient for one of your friends to take you to school every day, but be sure to do something in return for your friend.
If your friend tells you something in confidence or if you know certain things in his life, save him and do not talk to anyone else, even when he is present unless he is the one who touches the subject, just as you would expect your friend to I would do with you, since this is your private life and no matter how much confidence you have between you, it is not for you. Remember, no one in your life wants a reckless friend who ventilates your things. Do not talk about your friend behind their backs and do not spread rumors about the secrets they tell you. Never say anything about your friend that you are not prepared to tell him face to face. Be loyal to your friends and defend them if someone else expresses badly about them.
- Part of being loyal is understanding the importance of a stable and lasting friendship. Do not lose everything just by spending a little time with new people, your new girlfriend, boyfriend or a cool person you just met.
- If you have the reputation of being a talker, a gossip or reckless, then your friends will think twice before revealing something personal in the future, or spend a lot of time with you.
Do not let others say negative things about your friend. Until you have the opportunity to listen to their version, manage the comments that you cannot check as gossip or rumors. If someone says something that impresses you and does not seem to be something your friend would do or say, then respond something like “I know him and that is not true, I would appreciate it if you do not spread the rumor.”